Open Your Heart and Your Legs, Dear

Sex Lessons from Mother.

July 3, 2020

Well Buttmuffin,

America’s Independence Day is coming up, and it’s time to start thinking about independence in all kinds of ways. And codependence. And dependence. And all that jazz.

Sweetcheeks, what do you think is the most admirable trait in a woman? Have you ever sat down to think about it? Beyond what other people think, beyond what a woman is supposed to do or be?

What kind of woman inspires you? What kind of woman keeps you coming back again and again, from a source of inspiration and intrigue, rather than because she needs you to fix something, or because you feel guilty for ignoring her, or because it’s the “right” thing for you  to show up?

What woman are you drawn toward, in  your soul?

Go to her.

The reason I am saying this, Cheri, is that we have a whole mess of ideas when it comes to womanhood, to what it means to be a woman. We’ve been handed down these icky ideologies about women as property for centuries. And a lot of it has to do with sex. Well, actually, scratch that sentence. All of it has to do with sex.

So let’s get clear on sex, on the yoni, on that organ of birth and life and sweetness and vastness and pleasure.

A woman who is in touch with, in tune with, and in love with her yoni is a powerful woman. The most fucking powerful. Because her sense of self-worth does not come from money, or others’ adulation of her. It does not come from everything going right all the time.

It comes from inside her. She is rooted, secure, solid as a person. She does not waver, or fall, just because someone did or did not show up. Just because she did or did not get that raise at work, or did or did not earn an A on the report card, or the certificate of completion for some stupid course no one heard of or is going to check into anyway.

A powerful woman knows who she is. And that means she can come and go as she pleases. She can give you the world on a dinner plate, and kiss your cheeks, and fuck you like you’ve never been fucked before, and then she can shoot off to Rome for a long weekend to visit some friends, and sit in cafes and drink coffee, and tap her feet to the street music.

That is a woman, babe.

A woman is not your mom. A woman is not some needy thing that clings to you, that doesn’t feel alive unless you’re standing next to her.

A woman knows what she’s worth, and owns what she’s worth, and speaks her mind. She says no just as easily as she says yes. She’s thoughtful and kind and sweet, and able to take on a challenge with kindness and aplomb.

And just when you think you’ve got her, when she’s all yours, she’ll have some other idea, some other whim, and she’s exploring whole new territory, and you realize she’s never been yours, and she will never be. She’s hers. Always.

Do you see the distinction, amour? Do you see why this is wild, courageous, correct love?

And who wouldn’t want a love like that? A love in which the woman who shows up at your door, or in your car, or across from you, is there from her interest, her love, her inherent generosity and openness, and not because she needs something from you, or is trying to get you to fit in her hole?

I’m telling you this today because women have forgotten their power and their purpose, and they’ve bought into this nasty paradigm that they’re made purely for the pleasure of other people, and they feel bad when they step up and speak up for themselves. And then they fall into these nasty habits of taking care of everybody else’s needs rather than their own, and feeling guilty for having a boundary or a desire, and they suppress their feelings or their callings and they become these flimsy things rather than the sturdy vibrant trees they truly are.

So darling, a yoni is the most powerful, magical, sweet-smelling of all nature’s treats. And a woman gets to do what she wants with it. Every. Fucking. Thing.



I wrote a marvelous book! Do read it! Order here.

Top Photo by Hanna Skoromna on Unsplash